Which Is Worse: Being Insecure or Being Arrogant

Does a happy medium of judgement free confidence exist?


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Why is it that when we want something so badly we get a feeling it will not happen? Is that normal amongst all people or just your typical pessimists? Is it an issue of self-love or self-confidence or is it just the fact that you are so worried you are not going to get it that it’s easier to assume the worst from the start? Like you set low expectations as to not be disappointed. But then there exists the concept of positive manifestation and speaking your desires out into the universe to hopefully encourage them to happen. As though there is unexplainable energy that captures what is spoken into existence to help make it happen. I am a firm believer in energies and putting positive energies out into the world, however, sometimes I wonder how strong energy can be. Can energy be strong enough to allow the event to happen? Or is this just another form of reassurance that people use to talk themselves into becoming confident?


I feel it’s quite difficult to fathom confidence just on your own. It’s hard to just look at yourself and tell yourself “okay now I am confident about this.” If it were that easy then we would have more overly confident people than we already do in this world, and trust me the ones we have are already enough. But then this thought makes me wonder why we allow confidence to be looked at in a negative light. The thing is we judge people who are insecure and tell them to be confident, but then when someone is “too” confident we criticize them. Who established this fine line in the realm of confidence? It is as though the spectrum goes 0-40% is insecure, 50-100% is overly confident and there is the nice 40-50% goldilocks type of confidence that seems impossible to achieve. Society tends to dictate the behaviors of a person by establishing the “happy typical” way of being but then makes that “norm” so difficult to achieve. One extra breath in a conversation, or one extra compliment, and boom you are instantly criticized and thrown into the “egocentric” group. Then we go and tell people not to care about what others think, but also go and make judgements when they do not. We exist in a society where contradiction is our forte. Where we judge and force our opinion onto others but then convince ourselves that we should not care what people think.


Society needs to realize that we need to pick one or the other. How incredible would it be if people stopped acting as if they are entitled to force their judgements on others and kept their opinion to themselves? That would also make it easier to acknowledge that other people’s opinions do not matter since they would rarely exist, to begin with. It should not be an individual’s job to block out the hate the public puts on them, but instead, it should be the public duty to stop putting that hate out into the world, to begin with. We preach self-love and fostering a supportive environment, yet barely take any steps towards achieving that. As a society, we should band together and decide that each person is entitled to live their life the way they want and that other people’s opinions are not welcome unless specifically asked for. Once that happens, we can all begin to feel confident in our own decisions since the only judgement we will be exposed to is our own and it allows us to focus on ourselves and what we truly want. Then we can choose to base our decisions on how they impact the people that matter to us and ourselves. That allows actions to become more genuine and made by choice rather than by force.


I wonder what society would be like if we just let everyone explore their path? To encourage creativity beyond all restrictions. How incredible the work would be and how incredibly empowered everyone would feel in achieving their goals. Now that is a society I would love to live and thrive in!

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I'm Nadine Shousha, a French Egyptian self-claimed writer who is eager to rant about everyday situations.

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