No Time For Regrets
Spend less time thinking about "what if's" and more time on "what now's."
One of the most haunting questions to exist starts with “what if”. The concept of regret is all-consuming and can be so detrimental to one’s existence. We tend to fall down the rabbit hole of imagining different versions of our lives where we altered one aspect of our current one. For what? We should not feel the need to live and experience all possible versions of our life to find contentment in the one we currently live in. “You do not need to understand life, you just need to live it" (Matt Haig). We do not need to constantly be in search of our definite purpose and the “sole reason” for being put on this planet. Instead, we should focus on embracing life as we live it.
The concept of perspective serves as a potential cure to regret. Rather than saying “I wish I did this” or “I regret not doing this” ask yourself “if I had done this what would be different?” “What is my desired outcome from that different path?” Once you find the answer to that why not focus on finding a way to achieve that desire in your present life? Whether that means changing your career path, taking up a new hobby, moving somewhere, or simply exploring a different relationship with someone already in your life all that is necessary is taking a step towards that goal.
The thing about regret is that it makes us resentful and makes us harder on ourselves than we
already are. For what reason? Why waste so much of your life wishing it could be a certain way instead of proactively changing it to what you wish it to be? All versions of life have sadness, pain, and heartache in one way or another. So ultimately what matters is focusing on love and happiness and taking strides toward achieving what we truly desire. What’s essential is living the version of life YOU want to live, not what you believe other people want you to live. We can always find a way to work towards what we want should we just allocate our energy and resources in the right direction. We are in control of our own lives and who and what we surround ourselves with. Therefore, it is up to us to steer ourselves toward the path that makes us happiest. It is also up to us to maintain and nourish our relationships in life as love is one of the most powerful sensations in the world. So when thinking of regret in regards to love know that “to fear love is to fear life and those who fear life are three parts dead” (Bertrand Russell).
So stop fixating on regret and fear and realise that you have it within you to guide yourself through the life you want to live with the people you want around you. Focus on being who you believe is the best version of yourself and remember to be kind to yourself. You are in control of protecting your energy so shield yourself from those who don’t deserve it and from those circumstances that drain you. Finally, empower yourself and remind yourself that your life is worth living the way you want to live it.
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